


Soldier On (And On and On and On)

by orphan_account



Series: Void /adj/: Completely Empty [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt Stiles, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Self Sacrificial Stiles, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Stiles can draw, Temporary Character Death, Void Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 11:43:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5204591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theo wanted Void Stiles, and he got him to come back to turn on his friends. Or so he thought...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Will Protect

**Author's Note:**

> YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THE FIRST IN THE SERIES TO UNDERSTAND THIS. CAN BE READ AS STANDALONE.

"What're you going to do Scott?" Theo asks. Always taunting. "You can't kill me. What about your best friend?" Stiles stands with his chin up in defiance, but not defiance at Theo. Defiance directed towards the pack. "The best friend you never believed, by the way. All he wanted was to keep you guys safe, it's sad really."

"Get to the point Theo." Stiles sighs out, looking for all the world like he's bored of the entire situation. 

"Alright, alright," Theo chuckles. "So here's the deal, Scott. You may have got your ragtag bunch together again in the hopes of saving your best friend-"

"Why don't we just kill him and get it over with?" Malia interrupts. "Then we can worry about getting Stiles back."

"That's exactly it Malia. You can't kill me without killing him." Derek tilts his head minutely in confusion, squints his eyes as he listens to a steady heartbeat. "It was his idea, really. We're bonded by blood now. If I get an injury _so does he_." As if to demonstrate, he holds up his arm and slices a small line down his forearm with a claw. When Stiles lifts his arm, the same injury appears before they both disappear as Theo heals. 

"Stiles, no..." Scott whispers out. 

"Sorry, Scott." Theo says. "You can't always win, no matter what kind of alpha you are."

"What Theo here fails to realize though, is that Void Stiles wouldn't do that, now would he? A void wouldn't tie themselves down. They wouldn't limit their power by the life of a pathetic, lonely, power-hungry chimera." Lydia looks up, realization in her eyes _because Stiles isn't void_. When Stiles looks around them he sees that Derek's eyes are so filled with hope he almost can't go through with his plan. He's a spark. He can do this. 

Theo looks outraged. "What did you do, Stiles?"

This time, Stiles is the one laughing. "Theo, you didn't really think I would let you turn me void without a backup plan? I'll admit, that witch's spell was strong and held for awhile. Long enough to cause some damage." He pauses. "But I came back to myself just before I fed you the idea about being bonded." 

"You conniving little shit-" Theo stops moving forward as Derek steps in front of Stiles. 

Theo's chimeras all come forward from out of the trees. They were hiding, waiting to follow through with the plan to ambush the McCall pack. At least, what was left of it. "You're going to regret this, Stiles." Theo growls out. "Kill them all, but don't touch Stiles. I'm gonna find a witch to separate us so I can drag out killing him for as long as I can."

There weren't too many, the pack was hardly outnumbered, and the chimeras weren't very experienced anyway. None of the pack wants to harm Theo out of fear of hurting Stiles, but the rest of the chimeras they don't care much about. 

Everyone worked in a way that didn't fatally harm, but temporarily disarmed them before they could render them unconscious. The final straw for Stiles was when Theo decided that, instead of popping around and landing blows on whoever (since they wouldn't hit him back), he was going to go after Derek. 

Stiles eyes were glowing an unnatural shade of purple, and the same light surrounded his hands. "Theo!" He yelled, and everyone turned to watch what was happening. "I'm always going to protect this pack, especially from you. Even if it's at my own expense."

Derek realizes what Stiles is about to do too late, because Stiles already conjures the knife to his hand and, "No! Stiles-"

And Stiles shoves the dagger into and up his own abdomen. He let's out the slightest gasping exhale, before he rips the dagger back out, causing blood to poor from not only his stomach but also Theo's. Theo falls to the ground a second before Stiles lands on his left side. 

Derek places his hands on Stiles' cheeks, and they are already losing the bright red that they had previously from the wind whipping them. "Stiles, no. Stiles, stay with me. It's okay you only stabbed and Theo will heal so you'll heal."

"W-Wolf," Stiles coughs a spatter of blood onto his chin. "Wolfsbane."

Derek rolls Stiles onto his back and Scott is on his other side, and they put pressure on the wound of someone beloved. 

The two hear a scuffle and look over to see Malia holding Theo down so he couldn't make an attempt at escape. "You're lucky I don't want to hurt Stiles or I'd rip your throat out with my teeth."

That makes Stiles laugh, and when he's laughing the blood is gushing over his chin _and it's messy and real why does it have to be so real._  
"You Hales, I swear." He mutters fondly. "You really should come up with some new threats sometime."

"Stiles this isn't funny." Derek meant to growl out but his voice cracks, only to serve as an emphasis on the lack of humor. 

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," Scott says. "I should've believed you, Stiles. I should've but I just... I wanted to trust Theo so bad. I always want to trust. You were right to be suspicious, and Donovan wasn't you fault," he chokes. "God, you're supposed to be my brother, and I didn't listen." He cries.

"It's okay, Scott," Stiles pants. "I've always had a back up plan. But now, I need you to go take Theo somewhere so he can't get away, okay? If he gets away he'll heal himself and for some reason-" He coughs out another spatter. "I don't think you guys will let me try again." He chuckles. 

"Stiles..." Scott starts.

"No, Scott. Do this for me. Please."

"Okay," He whispers, sounding like he was the one who was stabbed _and he may as well have been because this is Stiles, his brother, his best friend._

Scott, Malia, and Liam have barely gotten Theo into the car and pulled out before Stiles starts coughing. It's vicious wet cough and Derek doesn't know what to do. "Stiles you have to stay awake. God, we can- we can heal Theo and hold him someplace until we find another way. We can find another way!" He says desperately, and Lydia turned her eyes away as they filled with tears because she couldn't watch Derek like this. Everyone knew how much they loved each other in their own way. Maybe all of the times Stiles stayed the night only to wake up tangled in the sheets together and then make breakfast wasn't defined as a relationship. Maybe all the times Derek read a book on the couch with Stiles intensely staring at some notebook he was writing in, which he refused to ever show Derek, were so domestic and simple. But Derek knew he loved Stiles, even if they had never spoken the words. "Please, Stiles. Please don't do this." And he cradles Stiles to his body, and not in a way that is usual between the pair. In a way that is too gentle, too sad. 

That about killed Stiles and he didn't want to ever see Derek like this, but _he couldn't be void, he couldn't let Theo win_. "I'm sorry, Derek." He whispers. "I c-couldn't. I couldn't let him continue doing it." Lydia let out a sob, but Derek didn't hear it. He couldn't hear anything except the selfless person he fell in love with. 

Derek sees his eyes starting to get glassy _and it's all too familiar, he's seen it all before, please make it stop_. "Stiles, I know. I know you were trying to protect us, but you have to let us protect you, too. Please stay with me, we can fix this. Let me find another way. _Please,_ Stiles."

"An opportunity presented itself and I took it. I wasn't going to let it pass, this could've been the one chance before everything got even shittier." His voice was so quiet now even to Derek's werewolf ears.

"No, no, no. You can't, Stiles. Please don't!" Derek was actually crying now. It was a sight Stiles never wanted to see, but the tears were falling down his cheeks, slowly. Stiles lifts his left hand _and Derek sees it shaking and oh God no_ and places it on Derek's left cheek. Derek puts his hand over top of it, while the other arm pulls Stiles even tighter to his chest. "God, I love you. I love you so much, you asshole." He sobs out. "You can't leave me, not now."

Stiles smiles at the words. He beams and his eyes light up for just a moment. There's blood on his teeth and in his mouth and it's horrifying and beautiful at the same time because at least Derek got to see him smile when he said those words. "I love you too, Derek. I'm sorry." And with those final words, Stiles eyes lose that last bit of light, the last bit of energy that came back, his smile slowly fades, and his hand goes slack. Derek continues to hold his slack hand to his cheek, even as he let's out a loud harsh sob.

"Stiles!" He yells. "No, no, no, please no." He cries.

Lydia cries as she watches the couple, holding back her scream with every ounce of her strength _she refuses to signal her best friend's death, he can't be dead after all he's been through, she won't believe it._ She hears Scott yelling somewhere in the trees, but Derek doesn't because he's too far gone. 

"Stiles!" Scott yells. He bursts through the trees, and stops at the sight of Derek holding his brother's lifeless body. He' shaking his head before he even realizes it and is muttering 'no' over and over under his breath. "Theo's dead," he chokes out. "Theo died in the car and we came as fast as we could but..." He falls to his knees on the ground. "No." Lydia takes the few steps to make it over to him and falls at his right. She holds onto him as they both stare on in silence. 

 

\---


	2. Letters to the Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ending.

Derek hardly remembers the funeral. He sat frozen most of the time, _staring at the-_  
_at that-_  
_at Stiles'-_

He spent most of the time staring. Not processing. Unbelieving. Derek remembers Stiles dad coming up to him, though. That in particular stood out because _the man smelled like despair, anguish, tears_ the Sheriff had sat next to Derek and they both sat in silence, just staring. 

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do now," The older Stilinski sighed out. "I was never supposed to be the one... He was supposed to be the one who planned my funeral. Not the other way around."

"You're supposed to do what he would want you to do," Derek had said, he was still zoned out and could barely hear himself. "Just keep living. Eat healthy, take care of yourself. That's all he ever wanted."

"No," John said. "That isn't all he wanted." The Sheriff looked over at Derek's face, at the dark circles under his eyes. "He wanted you to be happy." Derek looked back over at the man, shocked by his words. "He probably thought I assumed the two of you were just dating or whatnot. But I'm his dad and I know better..." He trailed off, getting quieter. "He wanted you to be happy. And you made him happy." The Sheriff laughed, as much as he could laugh at this point, "God, he loved you so much. He cared so much..."

Derek hadn't cried the whole service, but when John said those words, it was like the waterworks turned back on. Derek let out a dry sob and every emotion followed in the form of tears. John put his left arm around the Hale boy's shoulders as he cried, looking so much younger. Reminding Sheriff Stilinski of the first time he saw the boy cry- back at the Hale fire.

"I loved him too," Derek choked out. 

"I know, I know." The Sheriff tried soothing him. 

"Why did he have to go?" 

"He's always been a person who jumped into emotions with his entire self. He just wanted to protect the people he loved." John had said, staring aimlessly at _that thing_ that was holding his son's body. "I think it'll be a while before I accept the fact that he isn't here."

Now Derek sits on the edge of his coffee table, because he can't bring himself to sit on the couch yet, with his head in his hands. That's the last thing he remember from the funeral. He wishes he didn't have to remember any of the funeral, wishes it wasn't necessary for one to even have taken place. 

Everything in his home reminds him of Stiles. Every memory they shared, every place that they touched.

How is he supposed to do this alone? It feels like someone punched a fist through his chest and took parts of him with them when they left. It feels like he'll never fill the place Stiles used to reside.

\---

It's a week after the funeral and eleven days since Stiles' death when he allows himself to sit on the couch. That's all he does. He sits and stares at the blank screen where Stiles used to watch Criminal Minds.

_  
"I'm going to learn to count cards like Spencer Reid and make tons of money in Vegas. Just wait, Derek Hale." Stiles tells him._

_Derek lifts his eyebrows and judges Stiles from where he sits on the couch adjacent to where Stiles is sitting. "A character on Criminal Minds says he is banned from casinos in three different cities for counting cards, and that makes you decide on your next endeavor?"_

_"Don't worry, I won't get caught." Stiles states, as though it's a known fact, and continues working in his notebook._

_There's a knock on Derek's loft door before it slides open and they hear Scott call out, "Stiles! Guess what I bought!"_

_Stiles shoves the journal under the cushion of the love-seat he was sprawled across before taking off towards his best friend, but not before leaving Derek with a parting kiss over the back of the couch._

  


__

Derek stands from his position on the couch suddenly and takes three long strides over to the love-seat that was strictly Stiles', and no one else was allowed to touch it. He rips the cushion away from the couch and throws somewhere behind him before falling to his knees at the sight of the familiar brown notebook. 

Derek knows that if Stiles were still alive, he would rip Derek a new one for even _thinking_ about opening it. But Stiles isn't alive, and Derek has to know. 

When he lifts the cover, he freezes. 

It's a sketchbook. And the first thing he sees in it, is a sketch of Derek cooking for the pack with the caption "Derek Crocker". He turns the page and sees a drawing of Derek and Isaac. Derek has his arm around Isaac, and he's laughing so hard that his eyes are closed and there are laugh lines in the corners of them. Isaac is looking up at Derek, also laughing, but also looking amazed at making Derek laugh. The next one was Derek sitting on the couch reading a book. The caption is "The Sourwolf in his natural habitat".

He's crying before he realizes, because of course this is what Stiles did in his free time. The drawings, they're all _good_. Derek never knew Stiles could draw. 

Derek didn't think it was possible, but his loft felt even lonelier that next night without Stiles.

\---

Scott, Derek, and Lydia stand in Deaton's backroom when it happens. They needed information that none of them could find and Scott muttered, "I wish Stiles were here."  
Derek's eyes close tightly as he looks away.

"Stiles came up with his plan with the purpose of protecting all of you. There's nothing you could have done to change his mind." Deaton says, almost nonchalantly but with a touch of remorse, while he looks around at his collection of books. 

Scott stares at Deaton for a few moments like he's trying to figure something out. "You knew?" He asks. "Stiles told you about his plan?"

Deaton looks up at Scott. "Yes," he sighs. "He did."

"Why?" Scott whispers, practically not even in a question. Derek watches, but he can't speak.

"Stiles needed some help in finding the bonding ritual and a few other things."

"A few other things?" Lydia questions. 

"I made a promise to young Mr. Stilinski, that under no circumstances was I to give any information involving the second part of his visit. That was entirely up to him." Deaton tells them.

"Yeah?" Derek asks harshly. "Well Stiles isn't here right now. He's _dead_. He can't exactly tell us anything anymore." Lydia and Scott stare in surprise at Derek, because this is the first time he's seemed to vocally recognize the fact that Stiles is gone.

"I'm sorry, but I will be upholding my promise. It's the least I could do for him," Deaton says. 

"I..." Scott looks like he doesn't have an argument left in him. "I appreciate the fact that you would keep that for him." 

Deaton nods and gets back to searching.

\---

Lydia, Scott, Malia, Liam, Hayden, and Kira were all over at Derek's loft. They had practically forced their way in, everyone brought a different food, and they were having a dinner together at Derek's dining room table. The one he never actually really wanted, but Stiles made him get.

It was nice, very quiet, but they were together. The strange part, was when he got a call from Deputy Parrish, asking him to come down to the station. It's after hours, and he said it was urgent, then everyone with super hearing hears the yell and the crash before the line cuts off. When Derek grabs his jacket and his keys he turns to see everyone else standing as well. 

Lydia raises an eyebrow at him. "You aren't really thinking that we're staying here are you?"

When they arrive at the station, Parrish greets them. "Okay so, this might be shocking, but I figured you would want to know ASAP." Then he leads them toward the Sheriff's office, and opens the door and when they look inside it's too good to be true it's the Sheriff and he's standing and so happy and-

And it's Stiles. Stiles standing alive, and dirty, but he's alive and the Sheriff isn't letting go of him.

Derek stands frozen as the rest of the pack greets Stiles in different ways, Liam, Kira, and Malia each give him a short hug, Lydia runs over to him with tears falling down her face as she goes and falls into his arms. He whispers that it's okay, and she's smiling and threatening him, and every emotion between the two actions. Scott doesn't say a word. He hugs Stiles do tight that it must hurt, and it does because Stiles says as much. "Uh, Scotty Boy, you're kind of crushing my-"

"Shut up." Scott interrupts, sounding choked up. Stiles sighs fondly and hugs his best friend back just as tight.

"I missed you too."

Scott grabs him by his shoulders and holds him away from himself so he can look Stiles in the eye and say, "If you ever, and I mean _ever_ Stiles, do that to me again, I swear I-" And there it is. There are the tears that Scott had been holding in, so Stiles just grabs him and holds him tight. 

"I know, Scott. I know." And it's so familiar to the way that Sheriff Stilinski had tried to soothe him at the funeral. _Stiles' funeral._ Stiles who is standing right there.

When Stiles lets go of Scott, he looks over to Derek. Derek looks wrecked. His eyes are wide and his lips are parted in surprise, and he looks like he doesn't know what to do with himself. Stiles takes a few steps toward him, eyes looking uncertain, before Derek snaps out of it, grabs him by the shoulders, and buries his face in Stiles neck. He's inhaling Stiles' scent, needs to know that this is real because if he made this all up in his head he might just break. 

His knees feel weak, and when he starts to fall Stiles just follows him down, and they kneel on the floor and hold each other on the floor of the station. 

And everything inside of Derek feels right again.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at stormy-rains.tumblr.com


End file.
